They wouldn’t be medical dramas without dramatic, if not a tad unrealistic, medical problems so I’ve picked out some of the more obscure patient complaints we’ve witnessed over the years.
1) When someone touches me, my body turns to stone – In season three of Grey’s Anatomy, Callie, George and Izzie work on a patient who has a rare disease that turns her muscle to bone when she’s touched, so she ends up looking like a human statue.
2) I’ve been impaled by a pole, but I can still flirt with the guy on the other end of it – Also in that season two patients, Bonnie and Tom, were brought into Seattle Grace having been impaled by a metal pole. Although their injuries were servere, the pole plugged their wounds and kept them alive and talking. Unfortunately Bonnie fared worse so they had to sacrifice her for Tom. Moments away from death, Bonnie asked for a breath mint in a list minute attempt to impress her fellow pole buddy. I like her style.
3) We’re carrying each others babies! – It wouldn’t be Private Practice without a moral quandary. In the season two finale, we learn that two of the Practice’s patients are accidently carrying each other’s baby, after Naomi cocked up implanting their embryos. To make things a little more dramatic there is a serious complication that may end up jeopardizing one of the foetuses, plus it’s the last chance for one of the women to become a mother as her last embryo was used in the process.
4) I’m trapped in a chunk of cement – A teenage boy is brought into Seattle Grace, encased in concrete. The Grey’s Anatomy docs start chipping away, while the boy suffers burns and the sapping of bodily fluids through his skin. He thought jumping into the unset concrete would grab the attention of the girl he was after. Really, in what world is that attractive?
5) I like to put women’s shoes up my bottom – Affectionately known as “The Trunk” (why? because he’s the human trunk) one of Private Practice’s psychiatric patients liked to insert things into his behind when things got a little stressful. One of Addison’s shoes went missing, and we all know where it ended up…
I couldn’t think of any bizarre patient complaints in ER. In 15 seasons there must have been one, so feel free to share any that spring to mind.